Thankful

I have been feeling so low lately that I don't even know how to cure it with happy thoughts. One friend who has been a witness to my crying told me to stop holding on to RED because he was just lent to me. And to start living with the "living". I kind of felt offended with those words. After all, no one can ever understand the way i feel.

I am still trying to fight the sadness the "happy thoughts" way. By being thankful for the 14 years 10 months and 15 days of marriage (I still am married to Reddy, though); 16 years 3 months and 9 days of being "together"; 21 years of just knowing each other, a few weeks of which as "mortal enemies". Well, we had this childish fight. I didn't know about it at first but, while i was walking along our street inside the village he just started yelling at me "bad trip! bad trip!" I later learned that it was the comment I made about their "mobile" group. It's a group he formed with his friends when they were teenagers where they will play music for parties. Anyway, a year later he started courting me. He told me that he got attracted to me when he saw me drank a cup of coffee during the debut party of one of our friends. That was, if i remember it correctly, in July 1990. Less than a month after that he formally courted me. On his first visit at home, he stayed until about 11PM, during that time, by my parent's standard, it's too late. My father, went to the living room with a banig (A sleeping mat) and started spreading the banig in front of us. And then he said something like "gabi na, bukas naman" (It's already late, visit again tomorrow). Fast forward to February 8, 1992, almost 2 years after, we got married. A few months after we had our first daughter.

April has 14 years 8 months and 2 days with Reddy. 14 birthdays, 13 christmas-es, first communion, countless movies together, rough plays, video games, and never-ending happy memories with him.

Zam's 9th birthday was celebrated when Reddy was in the hospital. A few days before that was Zam's first communion. These two liked the same physical activities. They both like to play badminton , to swim, play counter strike, and yes, joke around. Zam just happens to be a girl but she is almost exactly like her father.

I am thankful for the good memories we have shared with Reddy individually and as a family. I am truly thankful for our daughters April and Zam, for having their chance and their share of happy and memorable moments with their father. Although, he's not with us physically, he is always in our hearts and will forever be part of our happy thoughts.