Same time last year, we were already buying some gifts for pamangkins and inaanaks. Same time last year, the kids and I were already done with our Christmas tree with pink trimmings. It was a "pink" Christmas for the 4 of us. The 2 kids, me and reddy.
Same time last year, my husband and I had already planned for the noche buena menu of the juicy and delicious inihaw, my own version of pasta, ham and cheese.
My husband and I planned a more sumptuous menu for the new year's eve. Since, this is when almost all of our relatives get together and celebrate in one home, our home. Reddy was already looking for a reliable but inexpensive grill pan because our new year's menu should have been rib eye steak, Salad ala Italianni's and yep, some more pasta. I remember vividly how excited we were looking forward to sharing this new "Reddy's" specialty to the family. We wanted to celebrate the new year differently. Starting from the food we will prepare. Every year we were already used to eating the arroz caldo/goto specialty of mama luz and the usual Reddy's special inihaw. But since, mama was in the US at that time, we decided to make the menu more "sosyal".
But, we didn't get to make the steak, toss the salad, and cook the pasta al dente. It was a different christmas and new year for all of us. A different turn of events, a different life. I am still not used to not having him around, especially this season.
It has been a very different christmas in 2006, Reddy was still with us physically, though in a very different state. It was a different new year, too. We tried to celebrate, but it was very hard to call it a celebration when we were all in tears.
I feel his absence now more than ever. I miss him everyday. I will surely and terribly miss him this christmas as I have missed him the day he left. Because, the same time last year, we were still planning our christmas and new year's menu, together.
